Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
