Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
