her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
