i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
