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College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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