the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
This house was built for laser tag.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
