No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
