What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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