So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
