we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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