She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
