I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
