i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
