office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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