home. puking in laundry basket.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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