You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
