Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
