He is an equal opportunity slut.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
