Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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