ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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