And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
