The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He kissed a someone with a penis
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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