i just google imaged poop.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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