I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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