I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
