She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
