it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
