Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Randomize
