he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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