Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Randomize
