1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
