I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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