Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
he had hair everywhere except his balls
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
