How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He shit in the fireplace
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
