I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My liver just broke up with me...
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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