you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
