She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
