I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You've changed since you got that strap on
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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