my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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