I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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