Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
