The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You were trust falling into bushes
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
