I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
