im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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