I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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