I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
