its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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