Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
