For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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