Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
