After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
