that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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