pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
