Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
