question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
