I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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