We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
